Every day ,I ensure I follow protocol.Sticking to the rules and being a favourite student of almost all teachers. I look at my friends and they’re always enjoying,laughing away reality and not following the school rules.I wanted to be like that…
But there’s always a leash that tags and holds me back when I do something .It’s either I choose to be a good girl that follow school rules or simply living in the moment.
Having to fulfill expectations ia a very hard thing to do because it’s either you do what you want or do what others want just to make them like you.
But I want to live in the moment.
So I tried fitting in and tried what my friends tried and it’s very exhausting because I feel at times its a wrong thing to do and ….well,I pretty much got used to it.
I started to not follow rules.The usual routine that I follow is thrown away and I turned out to be a bad individual.
So much for living in the moment .
Blonde , dark brown skin
Eyes scanning the entire room , looking for one main person
Ohh .. There he was. Heart beating very fast , terrified , screaming in the head , “What to do what to do ? ? Its okay … Just act normal and pretend as of he’s not even there “. But I could just sense that he saw me.
I straightened myself up and tried to act normal . He just said ” Hi” but iit was so enchanting. A strange spell that rasped my breath and heartbeat ..
So enchanting …
When I was growing up, I never cared about what others said , trying to be perfect and being all well…. Just perfect.
I was raised from a broken family , abondoned by a selfish mother and caught up amidst the society. My dad took me in with his new family and by then , I didn’t realise what was happening.
The society neglected me and fixed me upon their stares whispering “Is she his illegitimate child? “. I never bothered.
And now , well I realized the truth , eventually and then I tried to be perfect and also in the process I lost myself ….
I fixed myself up , trying to be the perfect daughter whatever … Because I thought it was the only thing to do in order to be accepted.
Everyone tries to do the same thing .. To be ” perfect “ just to be part of something.
But the truth is …. No one is …